toyaEarly this morning, way before sunrise,  my girlfriend Toya called me. We talked for three hours but  I can’t really remember what our conversation was about. My brain was still a cup full of cobwebs but I know we spoke. We were very happy to be together and I kept thinking how amazing it was that she would reach me by phone. I could even see her as we spoke.  She looked very good, healthy and fresh. Younger. When I told her Prince was dead she was surprised then she grew sad. None of this is extraordinary except for the fact that Toya has been dead two years. But I believe (as do a lot of enlightened folks) that our deceased friends come back to visit whenever we really need them to. Sure, I was sleep so you could, my dear reader,  chalk it all up to a really good dream but don’t play yourself.  That was no dream. That was a visitation. First of all, it didn’t have that murky, fuzzy dreamlike quality. The vision pulsated, had flesh, the colors wet and alive. I could tell that wherever Toya was was very far and very tranquil (was was looks funny, doesn’t it?). All I saw around her was sky. I couldn’t see her body, just her head  tilted into the phone. She wasn’t floating. She was fixed in place totally enjoying talking with me.(I know, this sounds all weird and like I need to go back to sleep but I swear it was not a dream). Barely an hour passes when I don’t think of her. Music was one of our biggest shared passions. So many songs were ours. Nowadays, when I’m driving and anything by the Isley Brothers comes on the radio, I imagine how we used to call each other to whisper “listen to this ” and we would let the whole song play through the car’s weak speakers and never hang up before the song was through. (Now I am crying. Give me a second). It was kind of her to stop by to see me this morning, to reassure me that she is still here, that we are still here. I am good for a while because our talk filled my tank. She knew I needed some time with her and I am very grateful that she obliged. If this is all I have left of her, I will take it and attempt to be content. A visit? A dream? What’s it matter? All I know is I’ve still got the phone to my ear Ms. Toya and I’m never hanging up on you. Thanks for the call.
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