Top 10 Bereavement Blessings

Life isn’t perfect and neither are our friends and families. When we have to say a final goodbye to someone we love deeply, it’s hard for folks to know how to respond in helpful ways to our grief. Heck, it’s hard to know just how we’d like loved ones to respond. The days and weeks and months can feel like we’re looking at the world through one of those crazy mirrors at the carnival. Here are some beautiful ways people in my support system have helped see me through the unbearable grief I felt after losing my lifelong friend Donald Griffin:

10

Asked Me What I Wanted To Eat After The Service Instead Of Bringing Over What They Thought I Should Want To Eat And Understood When I Said “NOTHING”

9

Shared Their Own Memories Of The Deceased With Me

8

Understood And Didn’t Ask Why I Would Cry At Strange Moments Or In Strange Places

7

Kept Quiet

6

Just Held Me

5

Cried With Me

4

Offered Me Not Just Tissue But Shoulder, Shirt, Hands. Weren’t Afraid Of My Tears.

3

Held My Hand During The Service

2

Looked Me In The Eye During And After The Service. Gave Me That “I Know This Is So Hard For You” Look

1

Called Me Months Or Years After The Service And Asked How I’m Holding Up And Listened To My Response

Top 10 Bereavement Blunders

On the flip side, here are some not-so-good grief responses. While those who love us mean well, sometimes they haven’t a clue about how to comfort us once the casket has been closed and the bean casserole thrown away. Bless our hearts! We are all just doing our best, clawing and crawling our way toward brighter days.

10

Tried To Make Me Eat

9

Tried To Get My Mind Off Of The Sadness

8

Told Me “SHE’S In A Better Place” “GOD Needed An Angel” “IT Was Her Time To Go”

7

When I Said “I Don’t Feel You’ve Been Very Supportive” My Friend Said “YES I Have. I Called Everybody To Tell Them Your Mother Died.”

6

Shared Their Grief Story Like It Was A Competition “YOU Think you’re hurting! When My Father Died, I Didn’t Eat For A Year! All My Hair Fell Out! I Was A Mess!”

5

Tried To Fill All Our Silences With Words

4

Sent A Signed Card But Never Sent Themselves

3

Sent Flowers But Never Sent Themselves

2

Came To The Repast And Asked Me: “NOW What’s The Ladies’ Name Who Died?”

1

Ignored The Pink Elephant Whenever We Talked As If That Would Make The Grief Disappear.
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