The other day in the car during a mini griefwave caused by a mercilessly beautiful song that came on the radio, I began to say the names of two people who I’ve been crying and healing with on the Lovecall. Into the empty car air I whispered their names and the funniest thing happened: I started to calm down as if a blanket had been spread over my shoulders or as if I was being hugged. Isn’t that something? Just saying those two fellow grievers’ names was enough to bring me back to earth or at least helped me avoid running the light. On the next call, I shared the car-moment and my lady caller understood. She agreed that just knowing the other callers were with her at all times had made her feel better. I suggested that she use my little technique the next time the waves washed up and she said she would. So here’s where I turn to you: will you try it? Please? The next time you feel the hurt- water swelling at your feet, start saying the name of someone who has been your grief Comforter. See how it makes you feel. Does the wave crest or subside? Does the wave diminish? Do you feel any better? Stronger? Less like you’re drowning and more like you’re just having a moment that won’t knock you over? Sometimes the little tricks and techniques are all we have but they are something and they are better than nothing. They are better than being in Marshalls and having to leave because a wave of grief has stolen your breath. They are preferable to having to take a day off work because your bed has claws and one of them is in your neck. They are better than telling your girlfriends you can’t go dancing because your feet hurt but it’s really your heart that hurts. Your heart hurts all the time now. Hell, say my name if you must. In the car tomorrow, in traffic, when Daddy creeps across your mind, start calling Gayle Gayle Gayle and I will be with you. Sorta. But just enough to get you to work where your supervisor will scream your name but you’ll be calm and centered and ready for it. You’ll be ready. For anything.