And I don’t mean how many toys did you get or how much mistletoe did you stand beneath. I mean, how did your griefwork go? Did you take breaks during the festivities to rest, to cry or to regroup? Or were you the life of the party, laughing through the “tears of a clown?” Everyone knows the loss you suffered was a major blow and those who really love you shouldn’t expect you to be your “full self” just yet. Grief is a work-in-progress, two steps up, one step back. Hopefully during last Thursday’s hubbub you gave yourself calm-time, moments away from the wrapping paper and sweet potato pie to rest and reflect on the gap in your life that your beloved has left wide open. Now, the next step: slowly figuring out how you’d like to fill that space in ways that work for you. Happy New Year My Love, one step at a time.