Everybody’s got their take on what you should be doing right now: “cry as much as you need to.” “Stop crying so much.” “Dry your tears. You don’t want to upset the children, do you?” “You should be over the death by now.” And on and on they go, chattering like little birds stuck on phone wires. While some opinions might be good for you and helpful, some are not. Some opinions are just words flung willy-nilly from loose lips. Take them that way. Gather them in your hand like grains of salt and toss them over your shoulder. Here’s my opinion: you do you. Cry when you need to. Laugh as much as you can. Close the door and scream. No one knows how your grief should feel or sound or smell. No one knows exactly when you should be “over it.” There is no big stopwatch somewhere declaring that time has run out on your tears. I’ve grieved (and still do) the loss of so many people I adored and each tear felt different. I cherished each teardrop that tipped down my face and ignored family members when they said time was up on my pain. What do they know?