Certified

Certified

Don’t get me wrong. I understand that sometimes you need a real-deal therapist to help you work through grief. Truth be told, every now and then I check in with my therapist, Dr. What’s-Her-Name. She retired and I felt abandoned so I rinsed her name from...
Song and Sweat

Song and Sweat

Now that the forever- funeral is over and the Queen has been lowered into the ground, I’ve had a bit of time to marinate over her legacy and what it means for me and my Mama-grief. Let me start by sharing this with you: a few weeks ago, days after Ms. Franklin...
Day One: The First Year Without Mama

Day One: The First Year Without Mama

This time last year, the three of us robotically returned to who we each were. I found the nearest track and went running. My sister went into extreme planning mode, finding the organist, the eulogist and the funeral home. My brother drove forty five minutes home to...
Mother’s Day: the After Party

Mother’s Day: the After Party

Now there is silence.  The flowers they bought are wilting. The brunch reservations have been made and honored.  We, the motherless, saved money on gifts but still ached to pick up a dozen rouge-pink roses for Mama then take her out to eat, then post pictures of the...
Little Ones’ Gunfire Grief

Little Ones’ Gunfire Grief

You know how, when you lose someone, somebody always comes up to you and says: “I can’t imagine what you must be feeling right now?” Well meaning for sure, but those words did you no good. They neither soothed your pain nor made you feel like your...
Black Folks Don’t Grieve

Black Folks Don’t Grieve

I’ve been hearing a lot about Shiva lately, the Jewish tradition of sitting with the aggrieved for seven days following a loss. It’s a sacred time where friends and family bring food and love to the griever’s home just after the burial. They...